Archive for the ‘50 shades of grey’ Category

Ok so this post has a PARENTAL GUIDANCE (or maybe rather not) but it surely covers all the SNLV there is to blog about I’m sure so let me start of with a very serious warning – IF YOU KNOW me well (or think you do) OR your My BOSS or YOUR RELATED to me… STOP reading now !! Go make some tea and read the Huisgenoot! Because reading this MIGHT change our facebook relationship status I’m SURE…

Ok I warned you haven’t I? ….

Ok so let’s do this kids… 🙂 I have recently came to the acquaintance to the naked shaved penis!! I know some of you are going “huh?” and some maybe “shame” …. But I’m an afikaanse boere chick and we usually take our boerewors the way we get it ok?? No complaints! We just shut up and take it ok? But it wasn’t until recently that I came to meet (pardon the pun) the more “efficient” version of this tool…ok so I’ve upgraded! 😉 Listen so there’s evidently a huge difference between being f#cked and being F#CKED into oblivion….

If you haven’t tried this before please take my word for it, and DO TRY THIS AT HOME (evil grin) – but try it this way…
Step 1:Both you and you’re partner shave it, wax it, plug it but get those AREAS sorted! Make it soft like a baby’s bottom…
Step2: don’t shag!!! Yet….
Step3: wait for it……
Step4: ok soo when those tiny little hairs start growing back and its that thick hard prickly sticky hairs start scratching those tail feathers???
THEN you DO it wham bam thankyou, thank YOU noooo thank YOU!! M-A-M!!!

Ok don’t judge it until you’ve tried it Dildo!!

Yes dearies you can thank me later, but be prepared! It’s ROUGH!!

And there you have it….
“f#cked into oblivion” !!

PS: Oh yes, this isn’t directed at sensitive readers..

Love you kids!!

Ok so the latest buzzz/hype/craze slash what the f@ck ever they call it…. is NOT a rumour…… ITS GLORIOUS …
In all its 50 shades of grey…..
If you havent read it, I STRONGLY advise you to do so and sooner than f@cking later alright????

For the more “experienced” .. that is ….readers amongst us…. we all have in our own twisted minds THA visual of OUR Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele (those unfortunate people who HAVENT read the books yet, we’re not exactly referring to Peter Pan and Tinkerbell here) So what I need you’re help with is…… (insert drumroll here…) you’re opinions as to which actors you think should play Christian & Ana in the movie :50 Shades of Grey!!
Down under….. (pardon the evil pun) you’ll see some suggestions… please poleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzze go and vote!!!!!!!

Ok for our glorious stunning evil wicked naughty dominant Christian Grey we have in no particular order….. :

1) IAN SOMERHALDER (Damon in Vampire Diaries)

2) ALEXANDER SKARSGARD (Eric in True Blood)

3) COLIN EGGLESFIELD

4) HUGH JACKMAN (Wolverine)

5) ROBERT PATTINSON (Edward in Twilight)

6) TOM WELLING (Smallville)

7) CHRIS HEMSWORTH (Thor)

OK SO LEMME SEE WHAT YOU THINK:

AND FOR OUR INNOCENT SUCCULENT JUICY MISS ANA STEELE I PRESENT TO YOU:

1) KATE HOLMES (Dawsons Creek)

2) MILA KUNIS (That 70’s Show)

3) LILY COLLINS (Mirror Mirror)

4) NINA DOBREV (Vampire Diaries)

5) LEIGHTON MEESTER (Gossip Girl)

and….. votes for our Ana???