Archive for the ‘love’ Category

ITS NOT MY FAULT “WRONG” IS MOSTLY THE FUN ONE…????? πŸ˜‰

Β It’s been how I have been living my life and I assure you not without any hickups and its totally a life choice but something that has always stuck with me is this: I will rather regret the the choices I have made than regret the ones I never took in the 1st place!!!

You get what Im saying?? And please im not saying gamble ur life savings away or jump of a bridge. Im simply suggesting that you make time for a little bit of fun in your life… Now and again venture into the unfamiliar.. Switch things up… Try something diffent… Take chances even small ones…. cause maybe just maybe….. it could be fun….

So I know for freekazoids like me this comes with my morning coffee they just fill my head oh boy… but here’s a list of things to consider…. and when ur brave enough.. I WANT PICS……

 

* Condensed Milk/Caramel can in ur fridge???: eat it with ur finger….no spoon.. (yes lets start small) no one will know.

* Stick a poster on the rear end of ur partners car reading: He/she is getting laid tonight…

* Move the bed, turn it around

* Change or swop cds in your car with someone for a day/week. Make a cd for ur partner of a recording of a song u sang for them…

* Change date and time on someones cellphone (take caution)

* Advertise friends or bosses car in the classifieds for R10..

* Dance naked in the morning infront of the mirror to ur favourite song…

* Fetch the post dressed in a tutu or nothing….

* Phone someone you havent spoken to in a while randomely and say something nice and then hang up….

* Girls wear ur hair like princess Leila from Starwars to work

* Only pack sweets in ur lunchbox Β to work one day

* Jump on a bed

* Ask a complete stranger in the mall what their fav feel good song is…. try to get and listen to it…

* Be part of a flashmob

* Write a letter urself and post it to a colleague at work saying they did a good job last wednesday ur proud of them…

* Next time u have abit of money buy all the paperboys newspapers he have left with him

* Go yell from a rooftop or viewpoint or hill

* Dress silly to a braai just because

* Eat icecream for bfast

* Tell ur kids they get to be the parents for the entire day

* Take a picture of u and the random person next to u in churh on sunday

* Go give ur grade 1 teacher an apple or flowers on springday

* In a random meeting deliver ur best oscar speech, or leave a funny weekend pic in the powepoint presentation…

* On ur next 1st day at a new job… literally take a block of ice for them to break….

* Take an aunt or uncle to play arcade games

* Next 1st date: go to the national library and eat noisy packets of things….

* Buy an old person some cotton candy

* Plan a s.w.a.t team meeting to steal a sign or billboard

* Carry someone in their bed outside while sleeping and let them wake up there

* Next datenight camp outside in ur garden

* Take an unplanned trip

* At the next braai hang out in the kids circle

* Dress up as ur favourite super hero

 

Ok so I can carry on forever…. most importantly HAVE FUN AND BE DIFFRENT…. ITS OK!!!!

 

LOVIES……..

 

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Ok so this post has a PARENTAL GUIDANCE (or maybe rather not) but it surely covers all the SNLV there is to blog about I’m sure so let me start of with a very serious warning – IF YOU KNOW me well (or think you do) OR your My BOSS or YOUR RELATED to me… STOP reading now !! Go make some tea and read the Huisgenoot! Because reading this MIGHT change our facebook relationship status I’m SURE…

Ok I warned you haven’t I? ….

Ok so let’s do this kids… πŸ™‚ I have recently came to the acquaintance to the naked shaved penis!! I know some of you are going “huh?” and some maybe “shame” …. But I’m an afikaanse boere chick and we usually take our boerewors the way we get it ok?? No complaints! We just shut up and take it ok? But it wasn’t until recently that I came to meet (pardon the pun) the more “efficient” version of this tool…ok so I’ve upgraded! πŸ˜‰ Listen so there’s evidently a huge difference between being f#cked and being F#CKED into oblivion….

If you haven’t tried this before please take my word for it, and DO TRY THIS AT HOME (evil grin) – but try it this way…
Step 1:Both you and you’re partner shave it, wax it, plug it but get those AREAS sorted! Make it soft like a baby’s bottom…
Step2: don’t shag!!! Yet….
Step3: wait for it……
Step4: ok soo when those tiny little hairs start growing back and its that thick hard prickly sticky hairs start scratching those tail feathers???
THEN you DO it wham bam thankyou, thank YOU noooo thank YOU!! M-A-M!!!

Ok don’t judge it until you’ve tried it Dildo!!

Yes dearies you can thank me later, but be prepared! It’s ROUGH!!

And there you have it….
“f#cked into oblivion” !!

PS: Oh yes, this isn’t directed at sensitive readers..

Love you kids!!

Date Night

Date Night

Yes yes I know it’s been a while but life just happens OK???? Between school, kids, work, Koeksister vereeniging at the Church, Bulletjie Rugby, unsuccessfully trying to lose weight, Games of Thrones, Grey’s, family get togethers and hanging on to those few friendships you still have left sex sadly ends up last in the periodic table…. if anyone ever wondered it should have been “Fc” in the table if you ask me?

So in the midst of all things couples grows apart from each other, the other day I heard this joke and it’s soooo very true, and since sharing is caring: πŸ™‚
{At a couples conference the speaker mentioned that couples are so disconnected that 85% of husbands don’t know their wives favourite flower. Koos turned to his wife and whispered: “Dis self-raising, ne?”}

OK so to make sure I don’t get “self-raising flowers” on my wedding anniversary this year I decided it a good idea to start with date nights.. (jip scary things happen when I start to think ) but im not complaining since I have been getting allot OTHER “self-raising” things since.. wink-wink….

getting ready

getting ready

So the idea is not to deplete you budget on jump ship or travel afar… it’s just to get that same old easy and fun communication going again, to talk to each other about each other…. NO TALK ABOUT KIDS!!! Dont start chatting and worrying about your kids colleague fund if he’s currently still learning to wipe he’s own bum….. this is your night…… This is time where you can sit on the loo without having the whole discussion about what happened in class today or how the brother stole the sisters candy again, or “he pulled my hair” this is to walk from the bathroom naked and get dressed right in front hubby’s tv view and pretend that you’re not doing anything different…. this is your ONE time to drink out of the bottle or your opportunity to leave the glass on the ground and not put it in the dishwasher…. this is the couples chillaxing time….. CHIL-LAX-ING…. GOT IT????
So in this post I’m going to give you a few idea’s what to do and also what NOT to do and maybe share a funny sex story that definitely qualifies in the what NOT to do category…

Kay lets start with things that’s NOT allowed, this way hopefully we can end up on a positive note and get you both excited and ready for your first DATE NIGHT!!!!

NOT TO DO ON DATE NIGHT: (DONT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS)
– plan anything outside without thinking of the weather…
– preparation, preparation…..
– don’t think it will work once the kids are asleep (they like cyborgs they ALWAYS wake up at the wrong time)
– rather leave candle wax and ice cubes to the experts
– from personal experience if you decide to make use of a sensitizing erotic lube/spray make sure you read the label correctly and not use the toy cleansing spray..
100% pure alcohol spray burns seven living shits out of you…. πŸ™‚
– use the cuffs without keys (do not even ask)
– use satin/silk scarfs for bondage its difficult to explain to ur kids teacher why you have red marks on both wrists
– then the epic mistake please TEST hair removal products like they say on the labels (don’t use on genital areas)
– make sure all windows are closed (you don’t want a notice on your gate with a message “free porn”) btw I still don’t greet any of my neighbours
– when your wife maybe had too much wine during dinner and passes out when she hits the bed do not think to leave her to rest a bit and then in the middle of the
night try to suddenly wake her (serious injuries can occur)
– make absolutely sure your in laws is not planing a surprise visit (especially when they have keys to your house)
– with you and your partners weight the washing machine WILL NOT perform the rattles ans shakes you have in mind…. (major disappointment I know)

Ok so now that you have visuals about what NOT to do, here’s a few creative thoughts and ideas:
– stay at home movie & popcorn night ( guess the adds before the movie starts, garment needs to be removed for every wrong answer) and watch the rest of the movie
like that.
– strip poker & shooters
– naked cooking night (get each other sexy aprons and schedule naked cooking/baking evening
– take a glass jar and fill with ice cream sticks which have date ideas written on them, colour the sticks 3 colours (blue- cheap date idea, red – outing like movies
or dinner, and yellow- small things which doesn’t cost a thing) each date night take turns to pull one from the jar
– buy ice cream and watch the city lights or sundowners at a nice venue
– Game Night (unpack the PS or Wii and drink and play and laugh together)
– Wet and Wild (candles, bubblebath, champagne and massage each other afterwards)
– Ten pin bowling or Ice skating
– Go see a violin or pianist concert or poetry reading evening(something completely different)
– go to the driving range together (girls tie one of ur sexy gstrings to he’s “driver” without him seeing)
– Home Camp out: You don’t have to spend any money to create a romantic atmosphere. Built a blanket fort, add some twinkly lights and blankets. And, spend the
night exchanging love letters, talking and falling in love all over again.
– Make it Puzzling ~ Write your date night question onto any type of board and then cut it out into puzzle pieces. When your date finds it, they can put it together
and enjoy the surprise.
– Try riding a one-person bike together!
– Play tourists in your own city, Pick a place neither of you have been and spend the afternoon exploring it. Continue the touristy theme by dining at a local hotspot
or the cuisine your city is famous for.
– go to the courthouse to watch a trial – freelive Law & Order!
– serve dinner at a homeless shelter
– visit Showhomes or Open Houses (you can roleplay and pretend you just met make up ur own stories)
– go to a playground…swing, slide, climb, laugh
– go to a pub to play pool or darts
– visit a winery or brewery

OK dudes and diva’s go out there and make mommy proud!!!!

I would love your feedback…

mwah.. xxx

date night ideas

date night ideas

To Be a Mom…

Posted: June 19, 2012 in happy, kids, love, relationships, women
Tags: ,

I had one of those restless nights and went down to make a cup of tea (yes for yourself it’s not as if the Fairy-God mother owes you anything?) You’ve successfully single-handed managed a full corporate day, kids activities done, fed your family,kids to bed, attended to dads needs and long last got yourself to bed… Oh no Cinderella the fun isn’t over yet… Now you wait timeously for the 2 or 3 occurrences where you have to jump out of bed to re-assure and tuck the little ones back to bed.

Its my 3rd time down the stairs and I pull the blankets back over the boys when I notice the two journals on the bookshelf. It’s the diaries I kept for both the boys during the whole 9 months of my pregnancy with each of them (wait for it.) A year apart. I open my first born’s journal 1st and start reading…. 1st the excitement, the spreading of the news, the dread full announcement to your Boss, the million different advises and quick cures for a million things that could go wrong, the downs tests, the exhilarating appointment at the gynie announcing the baby’s sex. Then follow the names, family drama about the names and thereafter mostly family drama about everything. In between you also deliberately mention the fathers lack of let’s say EVERYTHING? πŸ˜‰

As time passes the entries are shorter, more in debt explanations of the degree of back pain and muscles aches you or nobody for that matter even knew existed!

After that you’ll mostly find 4 sentences begging this unborn child to lock open the door in step the f@ck out!! – this carry on for a while and some of these pages gets torn out later.

Ooohhh then comes the sunday drives on gravel roads, drinking of god forbidden oils and teas. Jacuzzi’s and anything you’ve ever heard about inducing labour. The sweet loving wife you’ve met 4yrs ago disappear into thin air and your left with an angry vessel with a wicked mission to deliver the parcel….NOW!!

Then FINALLY….All hell breaks loose, your stuck in 5 o clock traffic to the hospital, the nurse (who delivered 7000 babies and thinks she’s your doctor) tells you the foooking death cramps you’re having is NOT labour and you’re not even close to pushing. Then she thinks its best NOT give you painkillers since this makes the baby lazy (how do like them apples) after you’ve broken every bone or finger in your husband’s hand he convince her to give you gas… gas bottle??? empty!!!!! ok so let’s go for an intravenous painkiller and all of a f@ck you don’t have ANY veins in your body they can get a needle into….. If ever a miracle happens it’s then….. you see your doctor, you hug and kiss him and start to cry like a baby yourself!!! You recite parts of the bible you haven’t even seen in your life! Followed by some swear words .. Big ugly srceamy ones!!

Ok so I deliberately skipped a few entries and then quickly opened on he last page… Ahhhhhh neat concise handwriting smiling all over the page explaining the magical birth of a child…you read the part where you touch and hold that precious gift in your arms and you never wanna let go… Something happens there that only a mom can feel… And there and then u feel it, and its so special you feel your heart warming up and fill all the space in your chest… I close the book, sit on the bed next to these precious gifts from God, and I cry and cry and cry….. Cause its magic…….

to write or not to write

Posted: October 8, 2011 in funny, love, men, psychology, women

First you start off with a Fancy phone, 1st thing you install is facebook and off course if your under 18 its mxit. You start with sharing a few jokes with your fb friends and poke someone here and there…soon it becomes boring and you hear the new buzzword “twitter” you get one of ur friends to show it to you and before you know you have 500 followers and facebook is suddenly soooooo last year. Bottom line is you are sharing much more info about yourself to strangers than ever before.

These friends and followers begin to respect you and you become a vital part of their day. They then depend on you to make them laugh or brighten up their day.

So like a drug you obviously want more and you start thinking about beginning your own blog ( hopefully more intellectual one than my attemp I hope?) But before you know it your actually writing (not that ur any good so relax) but as with life we’re continuously striving towards growth which brings me to the next question… What do I want to write about?? And this is where I need you’re help… Please indicate which of the following topics will interest you? All financial,scientific and numeric professionals pls don’t even bother to vote πŸ˜€

A – biography of trust me one fucking crazy life
B – short romance story
C – a piece on adapting personalities
D – sexual stories
E – sci-fi fiction

Please I need your feedback – pls send this to all ur friends to help me decide. And leave a comment? A,B,C,D,E

To write??

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