Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Day 9 Im comming home!

Posted: August 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

Slept over at the Rhino Sanctuary and enjoyed a nice warm bed, hot water and a cooked meal – went on a stunning night drive for good old sake and saw…… Nothing, ok not NOTHING but no rhino’s! Actually with the noise levels on the game-drive vehicle I’m not THAT surprised!

All up and ready at 5 this morning… And guess what?? … The Primary safely packed away in the back of the Landie! Yes brother, miracles still happens!

We just crossed the border and are finally back in SA ..
No need to balance myself on a Mopani Tree’s branch just to get a little reception. 😉

We had such an amazing time with such special people so dear to my heart and in between the fun and loud craziness we were once again showed the jewels of Mother Nature and reminded how special our Maker of all this is!

And I’m sure everyone will agree that there is still no better place than home!!

Now to buy some “prezies” for the boys and pretend that they are from Botswana! I’m bad I know it but if I arrived home with a “draadkar” or wooden carved Landrover my son would surely give me the “WTF” look 😀

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Howzit Howzit? Currently sitting around da fire at Kazikini just outside the Moremi Game Reserve where we plan on seeing the big 5 over the next two days… (Nie die vaste 5 nie ouens fokus!)

A nice camping site with animals walking right into ur camp and where you take bush pee’s with someone on lookout my friend!! Here where we’re camping now I’ll definitely say is the master of roughness in Botswana! On the plus side Africa is catching up with times since our bush ablution has this very European Unisex thing going on, and with Europeans in plentiful the guys in camp are mildly excited.. Ok maybe a little more than mildly…

So today we drove back from Guma down to Maun and up again to the Moremi …and I can proudly say the Primary was stocked up until we got here, presumably because the drinking games went on till very late last night….(And no I didn’t start it) *evil grin* and I hope our juvenile camping neighbors “Diesel” and “Wanneer” or “Worsie” or something like that caught some fish today shame!

Well due to the “climate change” I caught a little Botswana flu… And felt very worried to go to the Okavango Pharmacy to get a “flumix” I’ll tel you tomorrow if I ended up tranquilized … 😀 and you can only imagine how well this flu symptoms is “gelling” with the Africa sun. LO-VING it!! So now I’m testing the side affects on the “Degoran” pamphlet that’s clearly state NOT to have them with alcohol or something…

Hey what’s a girl to do????

Ok chickens Dinner time!! Yes we eat occasionally!! 😀

Day 7

Was pretty much all about the Wild!! Game drive baby!! Saw basically the whole big 5 and as an extra gift Moremi gave the Landrover the chance to pull out a Fortuner that was completely drowned in the mud…. Everyone was on high alert after that and ALL the rest of the waterpuddles was safely “walked though” first after that.. And due to all the walkies it took us the whole day to drive through the reserve and all us girls were shaken, and stirred!!

Day 8

All the tents packed up and we’re ready to go!! And for the last night we have the luxury of sleeping in chalets and eating at a restaurant – all the girls are SUPER excited and maybe for the 1st time in 3 days we’ll also have hot water!! Heeehaaaa but of all the moms are all very happy that there’s only 1 sleepy left! On about the 2nd day we made a rule that whenever everyone starts to talk about their kids we immediately change the topic to “Tigerfish” all I can say is we really talked allot about Tigerfish last night! 😀

So we left just now from Kazikini to Khama Rhino Sanctuary a 560km drive so we’re pretty much gonna be on the road the whole day again and hopefully be in time to watch some well deserved rugby and have a PINK drink .. But first stop is Maun – to fill up the Primary!!

Camp to Home base over and out….

Day 3,4 & 5 Tigerblood Baby!!

Posted: August 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

Ok so all up early and venture down to the river to start our fishing expedition. We all divide into two groups and the competition in on everyone geared! I can clearly identify the two groups into the fishing team and drinking team by just looking at the coolerbox size vs fishing gear ratio’s. Ok its no challenge to guess into what team I divided myself into! 😀

I just figured the drinking team will have minimal pressure and that would allow for better fishing over all and even if this team fail dismally we would have had fun doing so! On the fishing team’s side however you could see the seriousness, I’m talking fish and tackle like you’ve never seen before! I could hear the theme song of Rocky just by looking at them!! It gave me the shizzles ….

Also I need to add that the same african sun theory applies on boats as per traveling in car only add about 10times the strength!! Good god it got hot on those boats on the river??? Its you, the delta, and offcourse the friendly crocs and hippo’s in the river all sharing a common goal – the TIGER’s !

Ok so the drinking might have affected our game a bit? I mean its really difficult to reel in a tiger whilst struggling to balance yourself on beer bottles and cans, and with our little boat looking like a fraternity the day after limited us to find our hooks and bait and needless to say I was really busy moving the passed out dude on out boat occasionally to try and limit he’s sunburn (epic fail). With all of that I found it very hard to concentrate cause the VERY english chick in our group started to speak fluent AFRIKAANS after like her 12th “Spin” I guess it was more mimicking since the profound appearance of afrikaans swear words uttered.

So its obvious our team didn’t win…

…………. But ……………….

We all caught Tiger fish in the Okavango Flippen Delta and it was amazing!! Goosebumps “chariots o fire” kind shit!! Whooooooohoooooooooo Tigerblood baby!!!

Ok for day 3 we’re on our way to the Caprivi for some game viewing.. Can’t tell you anything about that since were still driving there…

Asta la Vista baby – I’ll be BACK!!

The thing about the niceness of the Botswana heat is, she’s good good good she’s good she’s nice! So ya’ll remember I’m the right rear wing women (apparently in a Landie you never change positions) and within the four vehicles of our group the Landie is driving in position 3! That is to benefit from the drag slash slipstream otherwise we’ll be left behind 🙂 other than that a few other rules apply to the Landrover Defender as per the Defender Club rulebook, clause 1.4.8 paragraph 5.
These are only the rules that influence the speed factor folks.

One: Windows stay close!
Two: Aircon stays Off!
Three: Primary Coolerbox must be filled with ice at ALL times
Four: The Primary (talking about coolerboxes) must be stocked – nope not talking about water
Five: The Secondary (coolerbox again) must be easily accessible in he back of the Landie in case the Primary needs a refill and don’t worry there’s a Tertiary as well!

So at this stage you surely must have connected the dots. Ok ok in other words: the only way to keep cool in this heat is (drumroll) the continuous consumption of alcoholic beverages!!(U didn’t see that one comming did u?)

Which means:
– That a 3hour drive becomes 6hours.
– The drinking and driving rule evaporates into thin air.
– Ridiculous photos are taken at stops at “Pierneef” tree’s every kilometer or so.
– The Foot & Mouth control centre policemen becomes a BUDDY very quick! And after 3 of those stop’s it has a remarkable influence on the stock situation in the Primary.
– The route on the Garmin are immediately ignored because on the OTHER road the boys cant drive thru rivers and shit!
– Girls NOT trained to pee in bushes, related into re-wardrobing cause its really really hard to aim for us ok?
– and finally someone.. (Just Someone) gets stuck!! ….

Ok long story short. I blame the African Sun for everything that happened today! I apologize for the lodge signs I have stolen. I feel really sorry for african boy that fell off the Fortuner and I still don’t believe that the Amarok’s handbrake didn’t work in the middle of the freekin Okovango river (I mean WHY oh WHY was it used the 1st place?) I’m ashamed that we all started whee-ing very close to each other in the bushes and I do NOT know how the Landrover floor are moisted with Guinness!!

And while I’m busy, I have NO CLUE who deflated the tyres of the nextdoor people’s Landrover at last nights campsite!! But its a miracle that the black guy sleeping inside didn’t notice a thing!! Gggghhhmmmmffff……

Well – we’re finally at Guma Lagoon lodge, tents up and camp running like a well oil machine, tomorrow the fishing competition starts!

Are we there yet? Day1

Posted: August 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

So to start with we’re not leaving on jetplane but in a “Landrover Defender 2.5 or something” so without brackets what I’m trying to say is 120kms/h MAX baby! Ok ok I’ll do the math for you (we’re gonna be on the road the whole fawking time!) .. I did say we’re a bunch of old (relatively young I meant) or shall I say Tuks Alumni travelling to Botswana – Leeu Wereld Baby!!

And the only piece of luggage everyone really cares about is the Almighty and fully equipt COOLERBOX, ok ok I do have a medical aid kit with like 8 rolls of bandage, that should come handy somewhere right?? Bandage for bondage *evil grin*

I’ll try blog as much about the trip (no NO not that kind of a trip) as possible folks, depending on cellphone reception that is!

I’m the right rear winger in the Landie aka the one who needs to dig through the fukin ice and pass the beers, don’t stress non of that happening yet! I’m keeping most of them to myself (taraaaa) which I’m sure will result in pretty interesting blogging/shlogging later on..

I must admit its pretty damn hard to try and stay awake with this stimulating cab drone of the Landie atleast that was what I thought before someone asked me why my window isn’t closed entirely!! Hehe ok 800kms to go to Ghanzi – pass me another beer bitch….

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mY TwIsTEd MiNd !

Posted: July 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

Ok so just a quick one! We all have jingles or songs we sing to ourselves whilst working or driving or however nasty time consuming act your busy with….. I just wanted to know if Im like the only one who uses (wait for it?) THE FREECKIN STAR SPANGLED BANNER!!! and to make matters worse in MY mind I sing it like this: “Hosay can you see?” I mean who the freeckin hell does that and who the hell is “Hosay” anyway??? Ok thats all, over out! ……….Am I weird??? Wait??? Take a minute or two to think that over…… 🙂
(mmmmmm Hosay can you see…. la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

So it’s probably 2 am-ish and I’m up writing….. the thing is I can choose to lie here and write this in my mind, or put it down on paper? You loose-Paper wins! Besides I’m sure if you ask some of the most proclaimed writers about their published successes it surely didn’t happen within the strict parameters of normal business hours.Most of our world, ok maybe “world” is a bit much, lets rather say our social networking is done by means of Facebook, Twitter, Whats-app and Mixit where we speak out loud about our lives or whats going on in our thoughts. (please spare me the filthy detail)

Some bloggers force themselves on a daily basis to “pimp” up their boring lives with bucketloads of adjectives which by the way just emphasize the desperate need for excitement in their lives, but we “readers” allows it because they call themselves “bloggers”.

Now “writers” my friends, writers are inspired individuals! People who wake up at 2am to put their creativity to rest or sometimes even remind themselves of a fascinating storyline to use in their next short story only minutes before climaxing during passionate sex. Ok that could possibly be only me, I don’t know. Twisted, inspired with endless amounts of crazy little pieces to a puzzle.

I’m lying next to what seems like a sleeping mutant struggling to fall asleep. After attempting for the 50th time to master the relaxation techniques tought to me by what sounds like the voice of Master Miyagi as per my yoga sessions on Saturdays, I give into the urge of exploring my mind. Unlike Twitter and FB where our social status is determined by the quota of followers and friends you have, your creativity comprises of the amount of  looneybins all talking together in the black hole u refer to as your mind. I lie awake and suddenly I see this image in my mind (no…. you’re other mind brainiac!) that consists of a part of my partner’s arm separating itself from the upper shoulder muscle, and I hear tiny squiggle (don’t even try to lookup that word) noises as this separated piece of arm is growing little legs. Slowly creeping and crawling over me making its way down the bed, onto the carpet and out the door. Yes ok lets refer to this piece of arm hereafter as “IT”.

“IT” is making he’s way across the wooden floor down the corridor. So around the same time the theme song of “Harry Potter and the deadly hollows or “swollows” starts playing (clearly not a fan) I decide to play Alfred Hitchcock and go see what journey “IT” is about to embark on. He’s heading straight to the study or “library” as refered to in the mystery board game “Cluedo” and I just want to state for the record that if there’s a “freeckin” candlestick in there I’ll be devastated… this is my mastermind at work people.

Its is important to know that this story is playing out in the modern world of technology. Oblivious to my long acclaimed conspiracy theory (implicating the ongoings inside computers at night) “IT” heads directly for the “Intel Inside” now probably “IT Inside”. So you ask about my conspiracy theory? Yes let me fill you in it’s rather elementary my dear Watson. Being surrounded by computers,cellphones,smartphones, smarter phones, apples, applets, booklets,tablets dear god and exe-te-raaaaa the reliability of their operating systems, windows or applications remains questionable to me. I have come to the conclusion that at night while were sleeping, little creatures climb inside the computers … Yes and to put it bluntly then…fuck them up. Otherwise how do you explain a perfectly operating tool of technology working faultlessly one minute and all of a sardine the next morning you switch it on (usually really bad timing too) you get a big blue screen greeting? (don’t they know blue is for porn movies only)

Anyway back to “IT”. I was just thinking how surprised I were with how intelligent this male-arm unit called “IT” performed in the “How to work a computer division” clearly compromising the apparent myth us ladies like to refer to regarding the precise location of  brain matter inside the male anatomy.(it’s not inside it’s on top?) Although it does explain why they always want to “grow” those muscles and again why they always choose to fight to defend their honor.See? Who said blogging isn’t educational kids?

Soooooo “IT” continued to completely anialate the windows! Scramble the folders, change settings, spend a rather precarious amount of time in a hidden folder otherwise “unhidden” marked as XXX clearly indicating that X in deeds marks the spot, and due to numerous visits by different users and not adhering to protection laws “IT” managed to release a deathly virus. In short “IT” didnt quit cause he’s too legit to quit (My my who would have thought Ice Ice Baby could still inspire) Ok so maybe certain FB friends were unliked, and fat friends in horrid photos even tagged, not even to mention some followers blocked and the excruciating massacre of the inner circus (sorry I meant circle)….

Finally bringing us to the god damn moral of the story (and if anyONE of you are thinking “thank god” right now? I’ll delete your profiles forever). Please note: this is ONLY and ultimately my own personal humble opinion (ok ok no judgement! It’s a democratic country and I HAVE a dream!) Drumroll please?…..

1- Blogging is boring

2-Writing is Inspired!

and if the peer pressure of the social network is swallowing you up and you feel the complete and utter unneccessary need to blog about your monotone daily routine and share every meal to Masterchef detail with us…… PLEASE at least make it an INSPIRED BLOG OF SHIT !!!